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Eddie Izzard

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Eddie Izzard

Eddie Izzard(født i 1962)

Biografi på Wikipedia
Værker på Wikisource
Billeder, videoer og lydfiler på Wikicommons
En engelsk stand-up komiker.


Cake or Death[redigér]

  • ..and they built Stonehenge, one of the biggest henges in the world. No one's built a henge like that ever since. No one knows what the fuck a henge is! Before Stonehenge, there was Woodhenge and Strawhenge, but a big bad wolf came and blew them down, and three little piggies were relocated to the projects.


  • But you had the metric and the imperial system on the calculations. 'Cause in America you had the metric system for two weeks, it seems, in the seventies. Carter said, (very bad American accent) "Well, here's the metric system… you want a metric system?" Not with that accent, but, you know. 'Metric system'. And you seemed to go (mimes a hunter with a shotgun) "Hey, get out of here with your goddamn Commie metric system. Comin' in here. Hey, see what we got? We got a metric system. We got the outlaw Josie Wales with a metric system. Yeah, yeah, he's sharp. Oh, you watch 'im. He's got those millimetres and centilitres - and millipedes. Full of insects they are, Communist insects!". And you got rid of it! You had a look at it… you sort of played with the metric system like this (mimes stirring up something at arm's length, then throwing it away). And all because of that this little machine went 'Zwoom'. All the little microbes and all the little technological things in that thing going to Mars going, "Wasn't that our turning?"